petty need

I need music. I need to dance. I need to run and run and run away and not be worried about how much time my run is taking. I need more smiles that aren't just polite and more laughter at things that are actually funny. I need more than five hours to live my life. I need to get away from the lists. I need people I don't have to maintain professional boundaries with. I need to find some way to express myself. I need to unwind in a way other than constantly pressing buttons on a remote for five minutes until I realize that the whole of television is stupid. I need to stop feeling like I'm constricting myself. I need to stop having to wonder if these highs and lows are legitimate or simply a result of my choice of foods for the day. I need to stop these tirades that likely freak out the few people who read this and care.

I just need to get things done.

Afterword:
In so many ways I'm embarassed to put these sorts of rants out there. But they do no good bottled up either. So here they are. Someday I'll learn to do the balancing act.