The tremors. Those fun little internal-furnace shutters that sent me into a tizzy my senior year of undergrad, questionning my sanity, nervous system, and eventually blood sugar. So there's a good chance I've fallen well off the low-sugar bandwagon (I realized this last weekend after being good and eating my protien,only to discover that my mood took a dramatic turn from an unshakeable blues fest to the much more chipper and productive after being fed a cookie).
The other potential cause, however, is (arg) alergic. The oh-so-lovely and oh-so-constant dizziness is back as well, only it appeared to start yesterday; after (ah hem) I'd spent a day with the cat. I was enjoying the argument that my family physician was probably wrong about the whole dizziness=allergies thing after the room continued to change directions on occasion despite being on allergy medication and/or it not being allergy season. However, given the rather serious magnitude of the full-fledged room spinning, sliding, and slopping back and forth, I'm beginning to wonder.
Uh oh.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Are they nuts?
How do freestyle ski jumpers NOT kill themselves? Seriously, why is it that anyone who jumps from a height of 50 ft is suicidal, but if you ski off a jump to twist around and flip over in the air to land dozens of feet below you're somehow athletic?! And these people have large skewers attached to their feet! Who on earth thought up this brilliant idean? Are they insane?
Introducing...
TBA
We're having some naming difficulty here. Why are there so many good names for boy cats and not so much for girl cats? Here are some of the options, although I'm very open to suggestions. Help!
Josey
Jovi
Tabitha
Maizie
Civic
Cricket
Oliver
Jacey
I want to avoid people names because I have this irrational fear that, if I choose a human name, currently unknown but future husband will certainly have a relative of the same name that we will have to incorporate into our child's name, making for a rather awkward "we named the dog Indiana" situation.
Some observations:
-She apparently wags her tail all the time, even when purring on your lap
-My bedroom is far more interesting that the livingroom
-She's a talker
-Anything human-esque that's made for a cat (bowls, doormat for litterbox, etc.) is hugely overpriced
-It appears that I am the main source of entertainment (she is not too interested in toys, although the bookshelf is awfully intriguing)
-My allergies may be stronger than initially anticipated; this could be a problem
Some initial benefits to having a cat:
-Someone to talk to
-Responsibility
-Amusement
A few concerns:
-I'm gone all day
-Responsibility
-Small apartment
-Sneezing/itchy nose
We'll see what happens!
We're having some naming difficulty here. Why are there so many good names for boy cats and not so much for girl cats? Here are some of the options, although I'm very open to suggestions. Help!
Josey
Jovi
Tabitha
Maizie
Civic
Cricket
Oliver
Jacey
I want to avoid people names because I have this irrational fear that, if I choose a human name, currently unknown but future husband will certainly have a relative of the same name that we will have to incorporate into our child's name, making for a rather awkward "we named the dog Indiana" situation.
Some observations:
-She apparently wags her tail all the time, even when purring on your lap
-My bedroom is far more interesting that the livingroom
-She's a talker
-Anything human-esque that's made for a cat (bowls, doormat for litterbox, etc.) is hugely overpriced
-It appears that I am the main source of entertainment (she is not too interested in toys, although the bookshelf is awfully intriguing)
-My allergies may be stronger than initially anticipated; this could be a problem
Some initial benefits to having a cat:
-Someone to talk to
-Responsibility
-Amusement
A few concerns:
-I'm gone all day
-Responsibility
-Small apartment
-Sneezing/itchy nose
We'll see what happens!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
To-day's To-Dos
Okay, so maybe it's this weekend's list, but there isn't as much fun alliteration in that.
1) Respond to a ridiculous number of e-mails
2) Write letter of rec for aspiring grad student
3) Write educational contract
4) Brush up on/revise report for Monday meeting
5) Read and take notes for next week's classes
6) Go to the ReUse Center
7) Go grocery shopping
8) Eat (this seems to be something I keep forgetting, and my body's NOT appreciating it)
9) Go work on sets for a play
And for the more long-term goals that still need to be done rather soon:
-Revise resume
-Determine goal salary (I think this will involve an exciting Excel document)
-Post resume on job search sites
-Get in the habit of checking said job search sites
-Search for grants for current projects
-Plan trip
-Think about/plan graduation
Why publish all this in a rather boring blog post? Well there's a small chance that some of you may ask how these various things are going, therefore giving me someone other than myself to answer to. Keep me honest people. Let the productivity begin!
1) Respond to a ridiculous number of e-mails
2) Write letter of rec for aspiring grad student
3) Write educational contract
4) Brush up on/revise report for Monday meeting
5) Read and take notes for next week's classes
6) Go to the ReUse Center
7) Go grocery shopping
8) Eat (this seems to be something I keep forgetting, and my body's NOT appreciating it)
9) Go work on sets for a play
And for the more long-term goals that still need to be done rather soon:
-Revise resume
-Determine goal salary (I think this will involve an exciting Excel document)
-Post resume on job search sites
-Get in the habit of checking said job search sites
-Search for grants for current projects
-Plan trip
-Think about/plan graduation
Why publish all this in a rather boring blog post? Well there's a small chance that some of you may ask how these various things are going, therefore giving me someone other than myself to answer to. Keep me honest people. Let the productivity begin!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
An Ann Arbor Glance
I am currently sitting in a fair trade cafe, using wireless internet to read a paper comparing Buddhism and systems theory, looking out the window at a small spa that offers an oxygen bar, and a bierkenstock store right next door. Behind me someone is reading the New York Times. On the door a poster advertises a book discussion group meeting in the coming weeks. Those walking by don hats, gloves, and parkas, but the occasional traffic on the road still includes its fair number of bikers.
A pack of three runners.
A car with recycle bins in the backseat, and bumperstickers of various political statements.
A U-M license plate.
A bike with a rusted chain and plastic bag over the seat.
A rare pickup truck, it's passengers unloading cleaning equipment and heading into a nearby office.
A Prius.
Quickly disappearing parking.
A pack of three runners.
A car with recycle bins in the backseat, and bumperstickers of various political statements.
A U-M license plate.
A bike with a rusted chain and plastic bag over the seat.
A rare pickup truck, it's passengers unloading cleaning equipment and heading into a nearby office.
A Prius.
Quickly disappearing parking.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Rocking the Conference
I've been to a good number of conferences given my age, and while I usually enjoy them, it's pretty expected that by the end of the day I am exhausted and have a bit of a headache. Maybe it's all that stuffiness of "being at a conference" and dressing up or being around dressed up people.
Yesterday, however, was entirely different.
It's a pretty cool feeling to walk into a conference breakfast roundtable room and recognize at least two dozen people there. I schmoozed, I introduced people to one another, I stimulated conversation, I offered people resources, exchanged emails, oohed and aahed participants with explanations of all my projects, and got a good number of suggestions. It felt as though S. and I were this powerhouse tag team, being the spokespersons for our groups during workshops, asking questions to panelists (having the moderator calls on you by first name=priceless), and S. actually had a line of people waiting to talk to him by the end of the final networking period. I don't necessarily feel that I walked away with a ton of potential collaborators for my projects, but I got a few new ideas, and more importantly I got my name out there a bit more. It's wonderful to realize that all these people also think that the types of work I do is important and that I'm not just some crazy and idealistic kid. Maybe (knock on wood) there will be job opportunity born out of all those handshakes.
Yesterday, however, was entirely different.
It's a pretty cool feeling to walk into a conference breakfast roundtable room and recognize at least two dozen people there. I schmoozed, I introduced people to one another, I stimulated conversation, I offered people resources, exchanged emails, oohed and aahed participants with explanations of all my projects, and got a good number of suggestions. It felt as though S. and I were this powerhouse tag team, being the spokespersons for our groups during workshops, asking questions to panelists (having the moderator calls on you by first name=priceless), and S. actually had a line of people waiting to talk to him by the end of the final networking period. I don't necessarily feel that I walked away with a ton of potential collaborators for my projects, but I got a few new ideas, and more importantly I got my name out there a bit more. It's wonderful to realize that all these people also think that the types of work I do is important and that I'm not just some crazy and idealistic kid. Maybe (knock on wood) there will be job opportunity born out of all those handshakes.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
An Acronym for my Life
This may be a rather weird post given that I can't actually spell out the acronym, because that would almost instantly identify me in this community, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, I probably don't want potential collaborators realizing quite yet just how much of a nut job I might be.
Anyway, it's official. In a world where you can actually have conversations that use the sentence, "I need to drop something off at the LRC in the MLB before I go to the CCRB, and then I have a USA meeting in the MUG", my life has also been reduced to a mere jumble of letters. It's the only way I can keep my projects all running in my mind. S.A.F.E. One letter for each project (actually I neglected to add "school" and one of my minimal but rather annoying jobs, but then the acronym would be something like "FADESS" or "SAD FES" and neither of those is in any way appealing). Of course, this brings forth the hearty chuckling motto of "Stay SAFE!" Ho ho. Just what I need to keep myself on track.
Goooo team!
Anyway, it's official. In a world where you can actually have conversations that use the sentence, "I need to drop something off at the LRC in the MLB before I go to the CCRB, and then I have a USA meeting in the MUG", my life has also been reduced to a mere jumble of letters. It's the only way I can keep my projects all running in my mind. S.A.F.E. One letter for each project (actually I neglected to add "school" and one of my minimal but rather annoying jobs, but then the acronym would be something like "FADESS" or "SAD FES" and neither of those is in any way appealing). Of course, this brings forth the hearty chuckling motto of "Stay SAFE!" Ho ho. Just what I need to keep myself on track.
Goooo team!
Monday, January 15, 2007
The barriers to doing laundry
I have been trying to do laundry for about two weeks, the emphasis being on trying. Ordinarily this may be something that a person would avoid, finding convenient excuses not to do this necessary but somewhat mundane task (although I don't know what we complain about; it's not like we spend hours over a vat of boiling water and a washboard. We sort, throw in detergent, and press a button. Folding is the most labor-intensive part. Sheesh). However I, being the weird person that I am, have run into the following annoying challenges:
1) No quarters. Despite being only 25 cents those things are a hot commodity in laundry rooms, parking meters, and coffee shop tip jars. I have to plan on doing laundry literally weeks in advance.
2) Darkness. Damn you society for making single women living alone afraid to go down the back (outside) basement stairway to the dark and not usually locked (like it's suppose to be) laundry room. Given that I'm rarely home before it's already getting dark outside, this has posed a continual problem.
3) Ice. I am finally here, during daylight, with enough time to run up and down the basement stairs, and good ol' Mother Nature (I love you dear but seriously) decides that, seeing as how Michigan apparently lost its ration of snow this year due to bad behavior, she would instead provide us with a nice solid coating of ice. On the basement stairs. And no, despite my strong desire at this point to do laundry, I do not wish to risk my neck (literally) in the name of clean clothing.
Arg.
1) No quarters. Despite being only 25 cents those things are a hot commodity in laundry rooms, parking meters, and coffee shop tip jars. I have to plan on doing laundry literally weeks in advance.
2) Darkness. Damn you society for making single women living alone afraid to go down the back (outside) basement stairway to the dark and not usually locked (like it's suppose to be) laundry room. Given that I'm rarely home before it's already getting dark outside, this has posed a continual problem.
3) Ice. I am finally here, during daylight, with enough time to run up and down the basement stairs, and good ol' Mother Nature (I love you dear but seriously) decides that, seeing as how Michigan apparently lost its ration of snow this year due to bad behavior, she would instead provide us with a nice solid coating of ice. On the basement stairs. And no, despite my strong desire at this point to do laundry, I do not wish to risk my neck (literally) in the name of clean clothing.
Arg.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Male Sounds
So my nice, quiet little apartment is no long quite so nice and quiet. Last term there was a very nice (and apparently silent) graduate student couple that lived upstairs, and a more or less empty apartment below.
Now there is one male student (undergrad I assume) living below me, and another male undergraduate living above. The one downstairs does not yet seem to generate too much sound, other than a moderately loud door slam (I think it might have spring-loaded hinges). He was there a bit last term and the only time I heard noise was during football games, which I was usually watching and being loud during too.
Upstairs, however, there is now more noise. I'll definitely give him the move-in/furniture rearranging noise; I'm sure I made quite a bit of a raucous when I moved in. However, there are definitely more, shall we say, male noises. I can now hear a TV, rather much more frequently, and then there are the other bodily sounds that I would care not to elaborate on. (Does anyone remember that Ally McBeal episode where the crazy blonde secretary made a "husband sounds" box to help a woman get over her divorce? It's something like that.)
Now, part of me is a bit annoyed by the recent elevation in noise filtering through the floors and walls. Another part of me is worrying and wondering just what kind of noise I am generating that the whole building can hear. Is my NPR while cooking breakfast and dinner waking everyone up? (Fortunately the guy next door has really odd hours and is a bit hard of hearing... I just realized that I live in a building surrounded by men, arg.) Do my phone conversations waft into other peoples' living spaces? Flute playing is definitely out of the question until I move.
It's certainly not awful, but it does bring to mind another point to add to list of housing requirements: sound-proof room preferred.
Now there is one male student (undergrad I assume) living below me, and another male undergraduate living above. The one downstairs does not yet seem to generate too much sound, other than a moderately loud door slam (I think it might have spring-loaded hinges). He was there a bit last term and the only time I heard noise was during football games, which I was usually watching and being loud during too.
Upstairs, however, there is now more noise. I'll definitely give him the move-in/furniture rearranging noise; I'm sure I made quite a bit of a raucous when I moved in. However, there are definitely more, shall we say, male noises. I can now hear a TV, rather much more frequently, and then there are the other bodily sounds that I would care not to elaborate on. (Does anyone remember that Ally McBeal episode where the crazy blonde secretary made a "husband sounds" box to help a woman get over her divorce? It's something like that.)
Now, part of me is a bit annoyed by the recent elevation in noise filtering through the floors and walls. Another part of me is worrying and wondering just what kind of noise I am generating that the whole building can hear. Is my NPR while cooking breakfast and dinner waking everyone up? (Fortunately the guy next door has really odd hours and is a bit hard of hearing... I just realized that I live in a building surrounded by men, arg.) Do my phone conversations waft into other peoples' living spaces? Flute playing is definitely out of the question until I move.
It's certainly not awful, but it does bring to mind another point to add to list of housing requirements: sound-proof room preferred.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Five things you didn't know about me
Apparently I've been tagged. I don't even know what blog tagging is, but I think it means that I'm suppose to write on the same topic as the person who tagged me wrote about; in this case that would be Wife and the topic is (as the title says) five things you don't necessarily know about me. This is the part where I tell you, "You already know everything about me!", which of course isn't true, because the fact is that there's a reasonably abnormal mind in here, and while I won't scare or bore you with some of the actual inner-workings, hopefully the following will at least amuse, and maybe even reveal.
1) I do airplane wings when I walk.
I just can't help it. I spend a lot of time walking, usually by myself, and I think it's just a way of symbolically casting off concerns or worries. It's usually not for too long (I can become rather self-conscious when I catch myself doing it on busy streets or sidewalks, so it probably looks like something close to the Pillsbury Doughboy walk), but I do it nonetheless.
2) I hate the feeling of dry dirt on my hands or feet.
Ever since I was little I've been this way (hence the reason I'm also not a fan of chalk when climbing). It's a rather annoying tick for someone who grew up on a farm and does side jobs in gardens and landscaping. If the dirt is wet I am find, but if it dry dust dirt (like from digging up potatoes on cold fall days), I was and am NOT a fan. I am, however, a fan of a good pair of gardening gloves.
3) I have actually had my life flash before my eyes.
It's not exactly the montage effect that everyone sees in the movies where pictures from the person's childhood and upward fly through the seers field of vision. It was more flashes of regrets, and absences. People that I wish I had told more often how much I loved them, and voids that should have been filled with people, but weren't. It's hard to describe; almost as though my mind knew that there was suppose to be a space in that flash for a specific type of person; child, family member, friend, etc. Instead, it filled in the closest thing it could find in its memory banks. A good realization, needless to say, that there are certain figures, support structures, whatever, that are missing from the picture.
For those of you who are curious, all this did actually happen during a potential life and death moment. It was a few years ago when my brain decided that it had had enough of the rest of me and decided to close the office for the day in an all systems shutdown. Not a pleasant experience, particularly since one neuron was apparently left to guard said brain-office with only enough skill to receive panic phone calls and begrudgingly take the occasional message (it had a sick sense of humor too. Case point: I have absolutely no memory of doctors asking questions or doing tests (which would have been very helpful when it came time to fight with the insurance companies), but I remember perfectly well thinking, as the medical team pulled off my shirt, "damn, I'm wearing a bad bra today". Jerk).
4) In my mind, inanimate objects have feelings.
I think this started with teddy bears when I was younger; I always worried that they would get cold, or feel mistreated if they didn't get exactly the same number of hugs. Only this whole concern for non-sentient things hasn't really died out. I feel bad when I see a book tossed in the mud, or if I grab one item at the store, then see something more appealing. I don't want that other box of Kleenex to feel rejected! What makes the other one so much more deserving of purchase? The same with plants and trees (oh don't get me started on trees).
5) I was tackled by the star wide receiver in high school, and it wasn't on the football field. :-P
Sure it happened to be during track season my freshmen year when one of the far more flirty hurdlers was trying to keep a baton away from this senior football star, who also happened to run track (baton thievery is serious business in high school track), and she passed it to me, probably figuring that I was untouchable (I had that "she's so nice that she generally blends into the walls" sort of persona going on then; mwah-ha-ha). So, in an attempt to claim his trophy (i.e. the baton), Mr. Wide Receiver went sailing across the tent and bear-hugged/body-slammed me into the ground.
He didn't get the baton.
I know, it's not the most exciting "thing you don't know about me", but it makes a pretty funny statement if you don't let the truth get in the way of the story. :-)
That's five. I suppose the last one is kind of weak, so if I think of anything else completely ridiculous that you do not yet know about me I'll try to remember to share.
Ta ta!
1) I do airplane wings when I walk.
I just can't help it. I spend a lot of time walking, usually by myself, and I think it's just a way of symbolically casting off concerns or worries. It's usually not for too long (I can become rather self-conscious when I catch myself doing it on busy streets or sidewalks, so it probably looks like something close to the Pillsbury Doughboy walk), but I do it nonetheless.
2) I hate the feeling of dry dirt on my hands or feet.
Ever since I was little I've been this way (hence the reason I'm also not a fan of chalk when climbing). It's a rather annoying tick for someone who grew up on a farm and does side jobs in gardens and landscaping. If the dirt is wet I am find, but if it dry dust dirt (like from digging up potatoes on cold fall days), I was and am NOT a fan. I am, however, a fan of a good pair of gardening gloves.
3) I have actually had my life flash before my eyes.
It's not exactly the montage effect that everyone sees in the movies where pictures from the person's childhood and upward fly through the seers field of vision. It was more flashes of regrets, and absences. People that I wish I had told more often how much I loved them, and voids that should have been filled with people, but weren't. It's hard to describe; almost as though my mind knew that there was suppose to be a space in that flash for a specific type of person; child, family member, friend, etc. Instead, it filled in the closest thing it could find in its memory banks. A good realization, needless to say, that there are certain figures, support structures, whatever, that are missing from the picture.
For those of you who are curious, all this did actually happen during a potential life and death moment. It was a few years ago when my brain decided that it had had enough of the rest of me and decided to close the office for the day in an all systems shutdown. Not a pleasant experience, particularly since one neuron was apparently left to guard said brain-office with only enough skill to receive panic phone calls and begrudgingly take the occasional message (it had a sick sense of humor too. Case point: I have absolutely no memory of doctors asking questions or doing tests (which would have been very helpful when it came time to fight with the insurance companies), but I remember perfectly well thinking, as the medical team pulled off my shirt, "damn, I'm wearing a bad bra today". Jerk).
4) In my mind, inanimate objects have feelings.
I think this started with teddy bears when I was younger; I always worried that they would get cold, or feel mistreated if they didn't get exactly the same number of hugs. Only this whole concern for non-sentient things hasn't really died out. I feel bad when I see a book tossed in the mud, or if I grab one item at the store, then see something more appealing. I don't want that other box of Kleenex to feel rejected! What makes the other one so much more deserving of purchase? The same with plants and trees (oh don't get me started on trees).
5) I was tackled by the star wide receiver in high school, and it wasn't on the football field. :-P
Sure it happened to be during track season my freshmen year when one of the far more flirty hurdlers was trying to keep a baton away from this senior football star, who also happened to run track (baton thievery is serious business in high school track), and she passed it to me, probably figuring that I was untouchable (I had that "she's so nice that she generally blends into the walls" sort of persona going on then; mwah-ha-ha). So, in an attempt to claim his trophy (i.e. the baton), Mr. Wide Receiver went sailing across the tent and bear-hugged/body-slammed me into the ground.
He didn't get the baton.
I know, it's not the most exciting "thing you don't know about me", but it makes a pretty funny statement if you don't let the truth get in the way of the story. :-)
That's five. I suppose the last one is kind of weak, so if I think of anything else completely ridiculous that you do not yet know about me I'll try to remember to share.
Ta ta!
Lists
It's actually happened.
My neurotic tendency to make lists of everything has officially gone over the edge.
The most recent tally (figuring out exactly what needs to be done tomorrow) includes the following:
Make to do list.
And it wasn't referring to the list I was currently making.
This may be a sign that I need serious help.
My neurotic tendency to make lists of everything has officially gone over the edge.
The most recent tally (figuring out exactly what needs to be done tomorrow) includes the following:
Make to do list.
And it wasn't referring to the list I was currently making.
This may be a sign that I need serious help.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Happy Thoughts
Here's an attempt at shaking off the dust and dew and ending the day on a more positive note. A spontaneous, unedited list of happy thoughts.
Apple blossoms
Beautiful sunsets
Curly fries
Ducklings
Elegant events
Fairy doors
Gardens
Hiking boots
Irises
Jokes
Knowing how to do something well
Laughter
Marbles
Nature
Open minds
Photography
Quiet conversations
Rivers
Star Trek
Travel
Understanding
Vancouver Island (hot springs to be specific)
Whitewater rafting
X-county skiing (I know it's cheating but whatever)
Yellow daffodils
Zany projects that just might work
Much better. I might need to get in the habit of this. Good night!
Apple blossoms
Beautiful sunsets
Curly fries
Ducklings
Elegant events
Fairy doors
Gardens
Hiking boots
Irises
Jokes
Knowing how to do something well
Laughter
Marbles
Nature
Open minds
Photography
Quiet conversations
Rivers
Star Trek
Travel
Understanding
Vancouver Island (hot springs to be specific)
Whitewater rafting
X-county skiing (I know it's cheating but whatever)
Yellow daffodils
Zany projects that just might work
Much better. I might need to get in the habit of this. Good night!
whelmed
Over and under.
This probably isn't going to make much sense, seeing as how it would be much easier to deal with this awful feeling if I could just flop onto the couch with another person and unwind the day, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon, so here I am, sitting at my desk, typing on a computer.
Overwhelmed with work (or rather, the storm of work brewing on the horizon) and underwhelmed with... I don't even know what. Confidence? Stimulation? Someone else knowing (and caring) what I am doing at this very moment?
Whatever I suppose. I did not want this to be space where I whine about being by myself; no one wants to read that. I don't even like to write that. It's just a little harder than usual today to shake the slow and cold veil from my feathers and be the bubbly, energetic optimist that everyone prefers.
Come on kiddo. Get moving.
This probably isn't going to make much sense, seeing as how it would be much easier to deal with this awful feeling if I could just flop onto the couch with another person and unwind the day, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon, so here I am, sitting at my desk, typing on a computer.
Overwhelmed with work (or rather, the storm of work brewing on the horizon) and underwhelmed with... I don't even know what. Confidence? Stimulation? Someone else knowing (and caring) what I am doing at this very moment?
Whatever I suppose. I did not want this to be space where I whine about being by myself; no one wants to read that. I don't even like to write that. It's just a little harder than usual today to shake the slow and cold veil from my feathers and be the bubbly, energetic optimist that everyone prefers.
Come on kiddo. Get moving.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
And so it begins
Tomorrow is the first real full day of the new term. Classes officially started last Thursday, but I haven't had to step inside a classroom yet. Last week and this weekend were filled with running around for the community art project (well, one of the community art projects on my plate). I'm already piled high with things that need to be done. This should get interesting once the syllabi are added to the stack. No idea how I'm going to do it all, but it's the anchor lap I suppose; the final straight-away. There were times in high school where the end of a race meant having to decide whether or not to catch someone who I hadn't even considered beating until I saw them within the last few hundred yards. Knees killing and no oxygen, but it had to be done. Why? Why not? So goes this last term of school. And in those races, it was always worth it.
Let's see who I can catch between now and the graduation stage.
Let's see who I can catch between now and the graduation stage.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The cliches
Why is it that everyone's new years resolutions always seem to be the same? Why do we always want to do things differently next year, but those "differences" are exactly what everyone else is trying to do? What's holding us all back from being more healthy, taking more risks, not sweating the small stuff, etc.? Is there some cosmic force that entices us to live one way but in actuality do everything completely differently from our original intentions? Oh right; Disney and chocolate (talk about cosmic forces). How silly of me.
That said, here are my cliches--err--resolutions? Maybe "goals" is more accurate. I can stay in that "shoot for the moon; even if you miss you land among the stars" mentality.
Stretch. No this does not mean get in shape, go to the gym, or run a marathon. It could, but let's face it; I just looked at my schedule for the next semester, and if I'm going to keep my sanity, I'm not going to start out with a resolution doomed for imperfect attainment at best. Instead, I prefer stretch. It's a great all-encompassing word. Here's why:
a) Stretch means not just collapsing on the couch or into bed as soon as I walk in the door. It could mean physically stretching (certainly a goal because good lord my legs can get sore after running 5+ miles all over town in the cold with a laptop on my back).
b) Stretch also means unwinding. I've clearly proven over the past few years that if my mental state is all wound up in fraying knots my physical state (appetite, brain functioning, etc.) definitely shows the unpleasant effects. So maybe it does mean going for a run. Or writing a blog. It's up to interpretation.
c) Stretch my mind. Not the kind of mind stretching that lands me in a large magnetic tube taking pictures of my brain, but rather the mind stretching conversations, projects and actions. Projects I think I have covered. Conversations I'm hoping for, both in and out of class. Test my perceptions, my processes, my considerations. Come on, step up.
d) Stretch the boundaries. Do some things that scare me. I can't say that I'll risk making a fool of myself, but fool-making will likely be in the cards, like it or not. Put myself in more situations and take in new and different experiences. "Push myself" I suppose would be most accurate. Go out. Go travel. Go feel (more) awkward I suppose.
So that's the big philosophical resolution. Others are a bit more concrete.
-Try working in coffee shops again. So it's not bar-hopping, but there are more people in Sweetwaters than there are in my apartment.
-Reduce swearing levels. My family thinks this is a laugh riot, mainly because I'm straight up goody two shoes compared to their speech at times. But I'm not so good at altering speech patterns between different groups of people (I talk the same whether I'm in a board meeting, a middle school, or venting with friends), so for the safety of the reputations of all my organizations, it's probably better to just clean up (I've slipped a few too many times this year, can you tell?)
-Meet more people. Hence the coffee shops, although frankly I've never been any good at meeting people randomly in public spaces, nor do I really want to. I guess I want to try to intentionally do more things with people, with the overall goal that they call me rather than me being the exclusive hang out/event planner. One of the happiest memories of the year was when the phone rang with someone asking if I wanted to come and just hang out. I do realize that I've surrounded myself with busy people who live through their calendars, and that I've made a name for myself as the organizer of all things social, so before I can get to the eventual goal of my phone ringing more often, I will probably need to plan more get-to-know-people occurrences. Anyone want to come over for dinner?
-Graduate. Hey, I have to put at least one thing on here that I'm likely to achieve (knock on wood). It's like making a to do list with some easy things so that you feel productive. True, it is a little strange that graduating from a masters program is somehow looking easier than meeting new people. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
-Find a job. A real one. With benefits. This also means figuring out my budget, determining a goal salary range, cost-benefit analyzing this to figure out how realistic this is while doing a job I enjoy, re-evaluating the budget, finding a place to live... and all those other "good-god-I'm-a-grown-up-when-the-hell-did-that-happen" tasks.
-Be more efficient. This means getting things done so that I can attempt to have what is referred to as "leisure time". Or maybe just "non-multi-tasking freakout-free time." I could deal with that. Procrastination queen be gone!
-Dress up more. This one is seriously up for debate. Every time I'm "dressed up" I end up having to climb a ladder, run on ice, wield powertools or do heavy lifting, and I find pretty outfits incredibly impractical. But I suppose there are times...maybe. Arg. We'll see about this one. The hiking boots are still staying more accessible than the heels.
-Talk less.
On that note, there are probably a host more--travel, assess toolbox, read books--but this thing is already ridiculously long, and I can quickly feel it turning into a to do list and that last goal sliding down the drain in a hurry. So on that note. Here I go.
Happy New Year.
That said, here are my cliches--err--resolutions? Maybe "goals" is more accurate. I can stay in that "shoot for the moon; even if you miss you land among the stars" mentality.
Stretch. No this does not mean get in shape, go to the gym, or run a marathon. It could, but let's face it; I just looked at my schedule for the next semester, and if I'm going to keep my sanity, I'm not going to start out with a resolution doomed for imperfect attainment at best. Instead, I prefer stretch. It's a great all-encompassing word. Here's why:
a) Stretch means not just collapsing on the couch or into bed as soon as I walk in the door. It could mean physically stretching (certainly a goal because good lord my legs can get sore after running 5+ miles all over town in the cold with a laptop on my back).
b) Stretch also means unwinding. I've clearly proven over the past few years that if my mental state is all wound up in fraying knots my physical state (appetite, brain functioning, etc.) definitely shows the unpleasant effects. So maybe it does mean going for a run. Or writing a blog. It's up to interpretation.
c) Stretch my mind. Not the kind of mind stretching that lands me in a large magnetic tube taking pictures of my brain, but rather the mind stretching conversations, projects and actions. Projects I think I have covered. Conversations I'm hoping for, both in and out of class. Test my perceptions, my processes, my considerations. Come on, step up.
d) Stretch the boundaries. Do some things that scare me. I can't say that I'll risk making a fool of myself, but fool-making will likely be in the cards, like it or not. Put myself in more situations and take in new and different experiences. "Push myself" I suppose would be most accurate. Go out. Go travel. Go feel (more) awkward I suppose.
So that's the big philosophical resolution. Others are a bit more concrete.
-Try working in coffee shops again. So it's not bar-hopping, but there are more people in Sweetwaters than there are in my apartment.
-Reduce swearing levels. My family thinks this is a laugh riot, mainly because I'm straight up goody two shoes compared to their speech at times. But I'm not so good at altering speech patterns between different groups of people (I talk the same whether I'm in a board meeting, a middle school, or venting with friends), so for the safety of the reputations of all my organizations, it's probably better to just clean up (I've slipped a few too many times this year, can you tell?)
-Meet more people. Hence the coffee shops, although frankly I've never been any good at meeting people randomly in public spaces, nor do I really want to. I guess I want to try to intentionally do more things with people, with the overall goal that they call me rather than me being the exclusive hang out/event planner. One of the happiest memories of the year was when the phone rang with someone asking if I wanted to come and just hang out. I do realize that I've surrounded myself with busy people who live through their calendars, and that I've made a name for myself as the organizer of all things social, so before I can get to the eventual goal of my phone ringing more often, I will probably need to plan more get-to-know-people occurrences. Anyone want to come over for dinner?
-Graduate. Hey, I have to put at least one thing on here that I'm likely to achieve (knock on wood). It's like making a to do list with some easy things so that you feel productive. True, it is a little strange that graduating from a masters program is somehow looking easier than meeting new people. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
-Find a job. A real one. With benefits. This also means figuring out my budget, determining a goal salary range, cost-benefit analyzing this to figure out how realistic this is while doing a job I enjoy, re-evaluating the budget, finding a place to live... and all those other "good-god-I'm-a-grown-up-when-the-hell-did-that-happen" tasks.
-Be more efficient. This means getting things done so that I can attempt to have what is referred to as "leisure time". Or maybe just "non-multi-tasking freakout-free time." I could deal with that. Procrastination queen be gone!
-Dress up more. This one is seriously up for debate. Every time I'm "dressed up" I end up having to climb a ladder, run on ice, wield powertools or do heavy lifting, and I find pretty outfits incredibly impractical. But I suppose there are times...maybe. Arg. We'll see about this one. The hiking boots are still staying more accessible than the heels.
-Talk less.
On that note, there are probably a host more--travel, assess toolbox, read books--but this thing is already ridiculously long, and I can quickly feel it turning into a to do list and that last goal sliding down the drain in a hurry. So on that note. Here I go.
Happy New Year.
