Falling Apart

I'm falling apart from the inside out.
The wise phrase "preventative maintenance" sticks in my head, so I toy with the idea of taking tomorrow off. That is, calling in sick, something I've never done. The only thing is, I'm scared. Body knows this is an option, and it manifests everything that's been suppressed for so long. The dizziness I've kept at bay is just there, lapping on the shores, a prelude to the unknown waves that could be out there, approaching.

I'm tired of worrying.
I'm tired of the room tipping over, and sloshing side to side. I'm tired of grabbing chairs, staring and hoping someone/no one notices.

So I try to be mature, responsible; an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If only someone would show me the way to fix this, this unarticulatable thing.

All things are metaphors

I feel as though I'm doing a bad job, at everything.
I can't focus, I can't visualize, I can't focualize.
What happened to being organized?

This beautiful weaving is tangled
Dead ends in the areas that were forgotten, and then avoided, for so long.
Others pulled too tight,
Too much attention in all the wrong places.
Torn between embracing the big picture, and understanding the details.
Sometimes it makes sense. But not lately.
How do I fix this?

Over thinking is not working.