Monday, February 19, 2007

On Humility and other Cultural Hypocrisies

The setup:
In U.S. culture we--especially women--are taught to be humble, even embarrassed, when someone gives us praise and accolades. We downplay it, "oh it's really not that big a deal," or "everyone else did just as good a job if not better."

The catch:
We need those recommendations, those awards, that recognition, in order to survive the ruthless battle for jobs.
Maybe this is why women are still receiving less for every dollar men earn; we either have to be modest, or be considered a ruthless bitch.

But then again, is it disrespectful to downplay those awards and praise? When someone says, "You're doing a great job" do you respond, "oh I don't know about that," or "I try"? Or how about "thank you"?

Talk about your accomplishments, and you're arrogant and boastful. Emphasize and wallow in your faults, and you're depressing and pessimistic.

Damn, screwed either way! Does anyone else have thoughts on this matter?
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1 comment:

Kathleen said...

I think a sincere "thank you" to a compliment on a job well done isn't disrespectful or boastful or ruthless. You're right - there's a point where you just have to start selling yourself, and you need to learn how to do it properly. The big thing is that there's the right time and place for it - job interviews, interactions with those who might give you job interviews - not just hanging out with colleagues or those competing for the same jobs.

It took me a long time to learn to say "thanks" to a compliment (particularly job related ones), and now that I have, I don't think people see me as boastful, but as confident. I have power, but I'm not abusing it by rubbing it in others' faces.

In general, though, I do think you're right about the gender thing. Yet another problem for us Domestic Goddesses in Hiking Boots.

9:07 AM

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