Breathing life in 10 hours or less

At 6:45 this morning I wondered how I had gotten myself into this situation, again.
The world is indeed run by those who show up. My world certainly is.
The twist is that, in order for me to show up in my own world, I need others to do the same.
Call me Tinkerbell; I need you to believe, and show you believe, in order to exist.
I need to believe in myself, in order to exist.
But sometimes, I need a little push.

To say I've felt low, faded, would be an understatement.
Easily forgotten, hidden
unable to express
words need someone who can hear what is not said
in order to be spoken.
And once again, the cycle perpetuates.
I need to believe in myself, in order to exist.
But sometimes, I need a little push.

I am surprised that I am still surprised
by the magic ingredient that ignites spontaneous combustion.
In the absence of fire from another source
How can I possibly create a spark?

By creating.

Last week I told a classroom of up-and-coming professionals that there's a difference between the job you can do, and the job you love.
One you amuse yourself during by checking facebook,
the other you work for hours on and don't even realize the passage of time.
For me the difference is creative.
It's hands-on.
It's multiple problems that need to be solved,
but through ideas
creativity
creating.

I am tired tonight
and happy
because the process was fun
and the product funny
creative
tangible
maybe even beautiful in it's own ways.
I can own what I do not know
Enjoy doing well at the things I do
And take pride in the risk--in doing something different.

I need to believe in myself, in order to exist.
But sometimes, I need a little push.